5 Seemingly-Sweet Red Flags to Look For in Your Relationship
Getting into a relationship with someone who gives you loads of attention and wants to spend every waking moment with you may seem like a dream come true, however, that kind of behaviour is a red flag! While you may think it’s sweet to be with someone who wants you all to his or herself, it’s often a sign of jealousy and possessive behavior, which can lead to trouble in the long run.
1. Your partner compares you to other men or women.
In healthy relationships, it’s not typical for one partner to discuss how the other compares to other men or women, particularly ex-partners. While it may seem sweet that your boyfriend tells you how much less crazy you are than his ex, understand that this is a huge red flag. Discussing others as “crazy” or “insane” just shows that the person is unwilling to see what problems they may have caused in their past relationships, and it’s likely that they will say the same about you when you call it quits.
2. They text you non-stop.
It’s understandable that your partner will want to text you while you are not in each other’s presence, and is for the most part encouraged. However, if your partner continues to message you non-stop while you are out with your friends, this is a sign of possession, as they are looking to take your attention away from having fun with others, and put it back on them. In addition, if you choose not to reply to the messages during your time out, they may use that against you in a later argument, which is also unhealthy.
3. You only spend time with your partner if it’s one-on-one.
There are two very polarized ends to this spectrum, and both have their downsides. While only seeing your partner in group or public settings will get old quickly, only seeing them one-on-one can be a sign of much deeper issues. In essence, when your partner only wants to see you one-on-one, it could be a sign that they are only in it for the sex, or that they have little intent to stay in the relationship. Think about it: people want to combine great things. Who doesn’t want their friends to know about their super cool new girlfriend or boyfriend? …those who don’t really think you’re all that great, that’s who.
4. Your partner is uncomfortable with you seeing friends of the opposite sex.
Both men and women can have platonic friends of the opposite sex, and not all friends have latent feelings for each other, nor do they necessarily find each other attractive. Not only is it annoying to have your partner cut you off from your friends simply because they are of the opposite sex, it’s a sign of a possessive personality. It’s easy to fall into this trap and not see your friends because you want to respect your partner, but they need to respect you and your friendships as well. You do not belong to your partner, and you are not obligated to cut off other friends because of their jealousy. A true partner will respect your friendships, and trust that you will stay faithful when seeing people of the opposite sex.
5. You notice your partner encouraging small changes in your life that add up over time.
While it may seem flattering that your partner cares enough about you to make suggestions that could potentially better your life, enough small suggestions are early signs of a control-freak who wants you to change to fit his needs. For example, it may seem sweet that your boyfriend wants you to eat healthier, but it could be a sly way of him asking you to lose weight. Pay attention to what’s being asked and how much; some changes are acceptable, others are severe red flags.